Singer Michael Jackson 'is dead' »

Everyone is going mental for this now, but bloody hell - what a shock.

Newspapers must look beyond SEO and Twitter to survive »

“Today consumers’ new distribution model is based on conversations. The only way the newspaper industry will survive is for it to focus on leading and facilitating these conversations.”

Interesting point in here; that actually, when transferring to the web, print shouldn’t become obsessed with SEO but realise that they have a level of inbuilt ‘trust’ in their brand coming from a physical medium that native online may not. This means they can drive conversation and become part of a key point of relevant discussions online far more easily and effectively, and in doing that become ‘must visit’ destinations. That’s what NME.com did so well, dominating music news despite generally being far from first to break any stories not fed through them in the first place.

The video for ‘Parrot’ by The Victorian English Gentlemens Club. Directing, Camera and Editing by Ewan Jones Morris and Casey Raymond.

United Post Tevez, Ronaldo. Why There's No Need For Panic In The Ranks.

It’s been confirmed this morning that Carloz Tevez is to follow Cristiano Ronaldo out of the Manchester United door this summer. After months of posturing and negotiating over turning his two year loan spell into a permanent deal, most expected this to be the outcome.

Despite what the papers might say, support for Tevez from the United faithful has not been unanimous nor unconditional. 3 months ago there’d be agreement that signing the little Argentinean would be a good move, but his conduct over the past few weeks has left much to be desired. Playing out his transfer via the press, turning every goal celebration into some personal attack on Sir Alex and the board, has left many thinking that it’s time to say ‘thanks and good luck’ regardless.

As it pans out, obviously the club did want the player to stay. A 5 year contract with one of the biggest wage packets at the club was offered, with the pre agreed fee met. The hard fact is that Tevez no longer wanted to play for Manchester United. If that is due to some feeling of personal betrayal, or simply a ridiculous offer from the other side of the city remains to be seen. Whichever, there’s no need for anyone to panic.

Dimitar Berbatov is not a bad player, and he most certainly has not had a season anywhere near as awful as some would have believed. At times the Bulgarian has shown flashes of genius that echo back to the days of Cantona. His much maligned work rate has improved massively, and on occasion he could actually do with staying further up the pitch, not tracking back. When it comes to hassling defenders he’s no Carlos Tevez, but then United already have someone who can do that, and so much more.

Wayne Rooney is, simply put, a better player. Even spending most of the last couple of years out on the wing, he’s proved to be the heartbeat of this United side. While Ronaldo took the plaudits it’s been Rooney that has not only offered pace and vision going forward, but also provided protection for the bombing runs that have made Patrice Evra widely regarded as one of the best left backs in the game. With the other two members of 2007/08’s ‘Holy Trinity’ now leaving the club, Wazza is finally the center of attention.

There’s no doubt he’s a player capable of the job. Think back to his debut for the club; a hatrick in the European Cup including a world class free kick. His form for the national side over the past year has been nothing short of astonishing. Finally he should get the chance to fill that position for his club side.

Obviously Berbatov and Rooney alone won’t replace the gap left by Tevez and Ronaldo, but it’s the latter that will really be missed. With 80 million pounds in the bank, plus whatever money was already put aside for close season spending, there’s no problem with bringing new faces in. While there’s no denying that the clubs debts will swallow up some of the cash, a manager such as Ferguson will be able to bring in new faces to freshen up the squad.

It looks nailed on that Valencia will be joining from Wigan. Obviously not a Ribery or Benzema in terms of a name, all signs point to a player that would flourish at Manchester United. Full of pace and not afraid to run at defenders, he’s only going to improve playing alongside world class players week in, week out. As for other targets, we can be fairly sure they’ll be young and of a high potential. The idea of paying a massive fee for Bayern’s French maestro seems fanciful at best.

It shouldn’t be forgotten that there are already players in the squad that may step up over the next year. Llajic joins in the new year; a player already dubbed ‘Little Kaka’, he may not break into the first team picture until the following season, but if reports are to be believed he’s more than capable of playing a big part in United’s future. Zoran Tosic and the much heralded David Petrucci should be appearing more this term, while Macheda and Welbeck are a year older, the latter looking like the first truly home grown forward player United have developed in a generation. Looking elsewhere Rafael, Fabio, Evans and Possebon all have parts to play over a season, Anderson and Nani have make or break campaigns to come, with the former starting to look the player everyone hoped he’d become at times, and there’s the vague hope that Owen Hargreaves may one day be fit enough to show Old Trafford that pigs really can fly.

United have lost two big players, neither of whom in an ideal world would have left. Up front they do look weaker, something which casts doubts over the midfield too, but on the other hand there’s money in the bank, a crop of youngsters who look the most impressive since the golden generation of Giggs, Scholes, Beckham and co, and a manager who shows no signs of giving up. While the next few seasons may not see the trophies of those just past, any thoughts that the red half of Manchester is finished are wide of the mark. Come August it’s highly likely that the picture will be all together different.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (12A)

One would think you’d learn. Big robots hitting other big robots, in a film that’s the product of Michael “can we cut that a bit quicker” Bay, that’s really mostly of interest because you used to play with some toys. When you were five.

Cut to the chase, Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen is summed up pretty nicely by one gag, towards the end of the film. The fact that at the business end of a supposedly post apocalyptic flick about giant metal warbots there’s time for an attempt at a humorous interlude may seem odd in itself, but when it’s cracking jokes about giant metal testicles clearly things have got really bad.

It’s easy enough to find the faults you’d expect. Nonsensical battle action where nobody is really sure exactly what’s going on. Dialogue rejected by BBC Three writers for being “a bit too hammy”. A total lack of coherent plot that feels like a series of stages chasing some nonsensical MacGuffin. Camerawork that literally almost drools over Megan Fox to the point where anyone who doesn’t still buy Loaded feels a little bit dirty. All of it’s present and correct.

But that can all be forgiven, to an extent. These flaws all lived happily in the first film; an offering that, on reflection, was reasonably OK. Decent Sunday afternoon fodder at best, perhaps, but not offensive. What really ruins Transformers 2 is the fact that it tries to make idiots laugh.

You know the types; they like Eddie Murphy films where he plays all the parts, most in a fat suit. They think that the cinema is for a chat, preferably a loud one. They’re the kind of people who make you believe that all violence should be permitted in Screen 5, just so you can ram their ‘can this go any brighter?’ mobile down their throat. The kind of people who think a pair of wisecracking ‘homeboy’ Autobots would be a fine addition.

The ‘personalities’ attached to this pair of CGI monstrosities must surely have come from one of those board meetings that address ‘connecting’ with ‘new markets’. They leave a disturbing impression that, somehow, George Lucas has had some hand in things, perhaps in some attempt to make Jar Jar Binks seem less annoying. They’re enough to induce hatred towards childhood - it wasn’t ever this bad, was it?

Add to that multiple dog humping jokes, and you’d wonder if there’s anything half decent about the film at all. Not much, is the answer. Dialogue between Starscream and Megatron satisfies those hazy memories, and yes, the effects do look good. Very good, in fact, though the audio feels to pack less punch than last time around. One key sequence half way through brings back memories of both King Kong’s big fight scene, and the heart of the recent Hulk film. While both may have had their faults, they clearly knew how to dish out the eye candy, and this is no different.

Talking about characters seems somewhat pointless. The film’s big bad is so under written that by the final fight scene it’s hard to feel any tension at all. Looking for much in any of the 40 odd various robots might be a tad too harsh, but then when the kid out of Indy 4 and ‘that girl who always looks like she’s a bit warm from the magazines’ are your other options, it’s no surprise 50 foot of computer generated metal looks so appealing.

There’s no way around it, Transformers 2 is a let down. Even for a sequel to an average spin off to a toy range, directed by Michael Bay, it’s bad. Sadly it isn’t even awful enough to provoke ire, just a vague sense of disappointment and the desire to be five again, when Optimus Prime dying made you cry. Sniff.

The Victorian English Gentlemens Club: New Dates »

Another Day, Another iPhone App »